Bem-vindo ao meu perfil

yo I'm aj, yada yada.......

this is my profile that you randomly chose to look at, and for some reason you are reading this. Because your human curiosity got the best of you. Shame. Now you're stuck here, with me, reading this worthless text that you could probably have gone your whole life without ever reading...ever. But you are, and the past is in the past, and you're still reading this. What must that say about you? What kind of person are you to be sitting here reading this useless text that I've appropriately written? You must be the kind of person that reads the labels off of everything, like when you're in the bathroom and you're constipated, so you're sitting there reading the label on your soap, or your shampoo, or on your 'extra silky frilly amazing awesome smelling just for the bestest' body wash, that you paid 20 bucks for because it smells really good, but makes you break out like crazy. But who cares, it smells good right? You must be the kind of person who reads other peoples text messages, or listens to their voicemail. "Here bobby, watch my phone."-- oohhh no, you do a lot more than watch. Pretty soon you're texting whoever's boyfriend making a proposal for the absent person, and by the time they get back their whole life is planned out for them thanks to your handy work. You must be the kind of person who pretends to be doing something important just to get out of doing something that's really important, like cleaning your room or, I dunno, dealing with the angry customer who got decaff instead of caffinated coffee, and he looks like he's about to rip your managers balls off and use them to stir his incorrect beverage.

The point is, you are just kind of devious and pointless yourself, just like this profile. That's why you clicked it, because you know deep down inside, you really wanna know what's going to be said next but you just can't predict it because this is as unpredictable as you are...sheesh, you know, if I were you, I'd just click the big red X in the top right or left of your screen-- left if you're using a Mac, but I dunno...Mac's are kinda weird, PC's are too structural. Everything is all fucked up. Everyone should just use the same kinda computer so we all know what the fuck is going on at the same time. One moment you're using the most high-tech computer ever and then 5 minutes later your egotistical bastard of a neighbor comes home with the SUPER-AMAZING-MEGA-AWESOME-MAC-3000. Shit. Back to best buy for you, pal. Get your ass in gear, clean out your wallet, what is wrong with you? Are you really gonna let that jerk outsmart you with his computer? ...Yeah, you are.

Do you know what is even more comical about this? The kind of things you're going to comment when you eventually finish reading this. You might feel a little pissed off, having just wasted your time to read this blabbing of nonsensical nonsense, if that even makes sense...well...nonsense technically means to not make sense, right? The English language is so fucked up, you know that? People in England are like "it's colour, not color you twats" and Americans are like "What? Fuck you, you god damned brits, it's COLOR, stop adding extra letters that we can't understand because we're just lower-class versions of you people with your pinky's sticking up and your tea and crumpets. fucking fuck." -- Can't there just be one version of English? Colour, Color, whatever the hell you wanna do...just come on, there's already a bazillion different languages, can't English be one of the good ones that's EASY to learn? I feel bad for immigrants who only speak Spanish. What if their Language teacher is a brit, but their English teacher is american. They'll be so confused like wtf how do I spell color/colour, I just want the red crayon DAMN IT. A+, Paublo Carnita Tequito, you passed.

If you're still reading this it's my obligation to inform you that you have some serious mental problems, and you should probably go to your doctor and have him check it out. What is wrong with you, seriously, get out of here. You're ridiculously insane, it's just not funny anymore. Label reading, decaff giving, phone stealing monkey with a red crayon fetish. Are we thinking the same thing? CUPCAKES! Oh...you weren't thinking about cupcakes? ...This just suddenly got awkward. Everyone knows Cupcakes are the ultimate kind of cake, in cups. You know what! I don't need your ignorant counter argument you pastry hating bastard! I think we're done here, I no longer wish to talk to someone who can't appreciate a cupcake as much as I can. You disgust me, you are just a pathetic paste eater. Yeah, don't think I don't know about your glue eating days in kindergarten. Just go away and finish reading the labels on the backs of pringles cans and pickle jars. Ugh.